The other day I was just searching the net thinking what can I tell you to sweep you off your feet. Then “Boom”! I came across very interesting scientific research conducted by sociologists and behaviorists about parents and children. No, it wasn`t something like: “The problems of generations” or “How to raise a genius”. I wish my mom had read the second article when she still had a chance, because I turned out to be, well, me.
The research was about living arrangements of parents and children or for how long offspring can live with their parents. Being in their 20-ies? 30-ies? Wow, 40-ies? Turned out there is a widespread tendency out there in the world: parents cannot kick out their kids from home no matter how hard they try.
Remember when you were a teen (or if you are a teen now, be ready to relate) you had those crazy ideas to escape from home, to get long dreamed freedom and independence, to be wild and carefree? When you enter the college, it seems like those thoughts just bury themselves in a pile of your other insanely ridiculous ideas.
Nowadays, young people in their twenties and even in their thirties are so reluctant to move out from the parental home that it seems to be a disturbing type of behavior. Let`s look deeper into the problem. Perhaps, there is no big deal at all?
What`s with the Hassle?
In Europe and the USA, about half of all people between the age of 18-34 are living with their parents. It is the highest number in the last 80 years. Does is mean that millennials are infantile, irresponsible and dependent generation?
The funny fact is that the age when a baby bird is flying out of the nest varies from north to south in Europe. Let the numbers speak for themselves. On average, Swedish youth start living on their own at the age of 20. Danish people become independent as soon as they turn 21. Being around 25 years old, the Brits, the French and the German are starting flying solo.
Let`s travel to the southern regions of Europe and see what`s going on there. What`s that? Italian and Spanish youngsters are not willing to move out from the parental house until they are 30. You want to hear something shocking? I know you want, that`s why you clicked that button and found yourself on this page.
Serve Your Sentence!
In some countries like Greece or Spain, parents are bringing an action in court. Can you believe it? Basically, parents are kicking their adult kids out from home with the aid of lawyers and judges. I can really, really feel their pain here.
One 23-year-old Spanish girl sued her parents in order to get monthly financial assistance from them. She wanted to get regular payouts of 300 euros, and her parents were sure that she is old enough to make money all by herself. You know what, they are so right! I wish I could see the faces of judges when this case went to court. What was the decision concerning this file? The court said that this girl is way too lazy to earn money. How is that for justice?
It`s Always About Economy
The reason why young people tend to hold on to the umbilical cord is financial instability. North European countries have strong and steady economics. Sweden, Norway and Denmark are known for their well thought-out government program of supporting young people. They have a possibility to study for free and live at students’ campuses for reasonable prices. Besides, the job opportunities are rather wide.
In case students don`t fit into tuition-free higher education programs, they get loans from the state at very good conditions. There are great opportunities to start independent life there. Besides, the unemployment rate among people in their mid-twenties in Italy, Spain and Portugal is rather high – around 43% of graduates cannot find a job. Meanwhile, only every tenth Danish young person is unemployed.
What`s Inside Their Brain
The mentality of the nation plays a major role in figuring out such issue as moving out from the parental house. Parents from Northern Europe are sure that kids need to dive into adulthood by the time they turn 20. They learn how to live on their own, how to control their expenses. Both children and parents realize this is the only way to succeed in life.
As you know, there are some jokes about Jewish moms and the strong connection with their children. It turns out that Italian moms are even more caring and giving (as they think) or intimidating and over-the-top in fulfilling their parental duties (as society thinks).
Italian youngsters think that it is absolutely alright to stay at home with parents for such a long time. They have strong family ties and find it to be absolutely absurd to move out when they have a chance to save some money on rent.
One thing that appears to be rather shocking for Italians is that youth from the upper part of the European map enter the universities in other cities even though certain sought-after faculty can be found in their native city. It`s hard for “Southerns” to understand why students would move out from the parents’ home even though they have a perfect opportunity to stay.
In France, people who still live with the parents at the age of 28 are being mocked by their peers because such situation is not acceptable in their culture. In Denmark, the “deadline” is the age of 25. It is embarrassing to be dependent on your parents when it comes living arrangements there.
You may not be BFFs with your parents. But in most life scenarios, they are better than friends because they will always be there for you no matter what. Parental love is basically a definition of unconditional feelings. They will do everything so you can succeed in life, even if it means kicking you out of their house.